Hmm.. Maybe something happened.
And I think there's no more point to continue blogging.
Something that I already expected.
But it ended up still have the power to make me cry.
How sad is it.
I have no courage to blog about this.
So I ended up open and close my blog for thousand of times.
I used up my energy for that day.
Totally no more even a little bit of energy left.
I control myself not to burst into tears when I was typing.
I tot I was awesome till I can hold on myself till the end of the conversation.
Until I saw a sentence.
'How long do you think she can stand for it?'
I stared at this sentence, I laugh.
Then my tears dropped down.
She, but how about me? That's what on my mind at that time.
I lost my mind.
I don't really know what I replied.
But I know it already freaked me out.
I can't stop tearing even after I off my comp immediately.
I lay on my bed.
I breath in and out hardly.
But my tears not seems like going to stop.
I'm tired.
I just let it drops down.
My pillow turned wet.
After I calm down,
I suddenly laugh to myself.
'What the hell am I doing right now?'
I woke up and walk in washroom.
Washed my face with cold water.
Look into the mirror.
I saw a girl with red swollen eyes.
Inside her eyes,
All is full of sadness and disappointed.
She feel disappointed to herself and also the guy.
She was thinking to give up everything about the guy after that.
But once the guy talked to her,
She forgot everything that she had promised to herself.
She still waiting for him.
No matter what happened.
No matter how pain is her heart.
No matter the guy just want to be her friend.
She knows right.
Once the thing is lost from her hands,
It will never ever comes back to her anymore.
So, yea.
Let's just be what you want us to be.
Let's turn back to friend.
No special concern.
No special secrets.
Just formal conversation.
Just using 'friend' this subject.
Just,
We are further than anything.
Although I'm still can't move on.
Although I'm still,
yea, loving you.
P.S: Something that you're not holding tight, one day it will not be yours anymore.
'How long do you think she can stand for it?'
I stared at this sentence, I laugh.
Then my tears dropped down.
She, but how about me? That's what on my mind at that time.
I lost my mind.
I don't really know what I replied.
But I know it already freaked me out.
I can't stop tearing even after I off my comp immediately.
I lay on my bed.
I breath in and out hardly.
But my tears not seems like going to stop.
I'm tired.
I just let it drops down.
My pillow turned wet.
After I calm down,
I suddenly laugh to myself.
'What the hell am I doing right now?'
I woke up and walk in washroom.
Washed my face with cold water.
Look into the mirror.
I saw a girl with red swollen eyes.
Inside her eyes,
All is full of sadness and disappointed.
She feel disappointed to herself and also the guy.
She was thinking to give up everything about the guy after that.
But once the guy talked to her,
She forgot everything that she had promised to herself.
She still waiting for him.
No matter what happened.
No matter how pain is her heart.
No matter the guy just want to be her friend.
She knows right.
Once the thing is lost from her hands,
It will never ever comes back to her anymore.
So, yea.
Let's just be what you want us to be.
Let's turn back to friend.
No special concern.
No special secrets.
Just formal conversation.
Just using 'friend' this subject.
Just,
We are further than anything.
Although I'm still can't move on.
Although I'm still,
yea, loving you.
P.S: Something that you're not holding tight, one day it will not be yours anymore.
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