Let's stop it.

After the rain over.
     I wish to see a rainbow. 


It's raining, deep inside my heart.

I trying hard to clam down myself, but for no reason, I want to cry out everything.
It seems like after this, everything will be alright.
It won't bother me anymore.
I know it is impossible, but at least, I do feel my heart become lighter.
Maybe stress been released out, or maybe I just finding a way to let you out of my mind.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Soon, tears stop.
It' time for me to stop thinking anything about you.
It's not my business anymore.
Yea, I have no right.
I spent my whole school day staring at a place with empty soul inside my eyes.
As I think I can able to smile and face the world.
As I think it's fine living without you.
I barely talk at school.
Tired of talking for at least today? or maybe I scare I can't control myself and burst into tears again.
I don't know.
Someone who knows the answer can please tell me?
Sometimes I think God is just so unfair.
I wanted to be treat as them also.
I need someone else to stay beside me.
Just stay beside me.
To let me know that I'm not alone.
I'm sick of it.
Concern. Yea, I know I need it.
I don't want to be alone.
The loneliness. I scare of it.

I, My, Me, Mine.

I cried at school today.
Can't control but I just start tearing when Ming mention the topic.
Finally, I stop.
And turn moody.
Because I know I can't do anything for it, and that.
I rather cry out all the sad things than gather inside my heart.
Right after I saw you,
I sleep on my table and the tears blur my vision.
I stared at a place and think about nothing.
I hardly fall sleep yesterday.
For no reason,
I think of you again.
I close and open my eyes for don't know how many times in the middle of night.
The scene I cried when we lined up before going up to class.
Form 3.
My friends got shocked when they saw me suddenly burst out of tears just because I heard a name.
Even me myself also got shocked.
Since when I can cry easily for a person.
I used to be glad when I saw my friends around me suffer because of a certain person, but I didn't.
But after I become one of them, I laugh to myself.
What a fool who think she is strong enough not to let anyone hurts her.
Form 4.
Spend around 6 months doing nothing?
Just like living inside my own world.
It's just a torturing year I think.? LOL..
Why everything must mess up with things about you.
I hope to see you, but damn, why I turn upset after that?
They mention your name and jokingly make fun of me.
And I can't do anything but fake a smile.
I thought everything already end.
Because you already answer my question.
I thought all I have to do is just give up and move on.
I know I'm still can't make it.
But today I saw the thing you post.
What's going on?
What's on my mind?
The answer is US?
It's truth, I do think about US for this few months from the end of the year before and until right now.
But what use?
USELESS right.
I know.
I like him, as a friend.
a really really best friend.
who I can trust and tell him about my feelings.
I know who he has feeling towards.
No more.
Sometimes this question pop out on my mind, boy and girl cant' really have a pure FRIENDSHIP?
Just friend, no love.
For me, YES.

P.S: I can't talk to you, even though just look at you because I'm still can't move on. No offense, but if one day I can smile at you, it means you, are just my friend. No more feelings. just friend. But now, I'm sorry, I'm still can't make it.

Happiness.

When I was a child,
I live happily everyday without worry.
When I get to know what happen around me,
I started feel scare because I want to solve the problem as well as I can, but fail.
But when I grow up as a teenager,
I know everything but I barely speak out and work out.
Why must be teenagers so sensitive about everything?
Even though just some little thingy.
Why can't we just smile and say 'Never Mind, I won't bother it.'
Tears seems to be the best friend of teenagers.
Cry when we feel happy.
Cry when we feel sad.
Cry when we feel stress.
Cry when we don't know which way to go.
Cry because of family,
Cry because of friends,
Cry because of love,
Cry because of own self.
But when we grow bigger,
turn and look back to ourselves,
it's just way too childish and yet funny.
Maybe teenage stage is a period to gain experience?
Try everything only you won't feel regret.

I love my family.
So I like to make them angry in a joking way.
Like playing around and rarely speak out I Love You to each other.
But inside our heart, we all know we do care about each other.
I know my parents trying hard to let their children live in a good nice situation.
I know it's hard to earn money, that's why I don't like to ask money from them.
I know themselves got their own problem to solve but still yet need to worry about us.
How I wish I can faster grow up and give them a nice life without worrying about this and that.
I'm sorry and I really do love them.

I love my friends.
They are just like a strength who hold me up and won't let me fall. Sometime.. hahaha..
Yea, sometime they are just way too annoying.. =P
But still, I love them.
Comfort me when I feel like crying.
Laugh together with me when I am hyper.
Chitchat about gossip and life together until forget what time is it.
Share happiness with each other.
Share pain with each other.
I really can't imagine how suck is my life IF without friends.

I love...
The one who care about me like a dad who take care about his kid.
Bring happiness and laughter to my life.
Sometime quarrel with U even though I know I'm wrong, but just want to make you angry. =P
But I know sometime I'm just too over.
And end up you sure take it serious.
I will do something U did before.
Then stun for awhile because of my action.
Then think of U again.
That day really got shocked.
U were just 3 steps in front of me.
It's been a long time to be so close to you. Even though I walked away after that.
But yea, surely you were talking to my friend again.
I tried to sleep in class after that, but once I close my eyes,
I think of the scene over and over again.
OMG! just freak me up.
So I fed up and wake up.
Maybe I should stop talking about U inside my blog.
It's just too weird to talk bout U at this situation.
But yea, I just can't control but did it.

AND!!!!
YOU! Ming!
Jealous xia~~~~ =P
Hope that is a right choice.
Good luck to you.
and yea.. try to stay long! =P

AND!!!
YOU! Peiling!
Don't la so emo.
Seeing you emo make me emo also.
I know I shouldn't laugh when you're crying.
But I just want to make you at least smile.
Don't la use too much tears on the fella.
Use on me instead better.. =P
Just joking,
Anywhere, please.. do anything you think that is right but don't hurt youself.
If not I kill you.
Stay strong yea!

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!! ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT!! =)