Expired candy.

Frozen Heart.

Since I had failed to fall sleep..
Here I am to share about my feelings~ =)
I'm tired enough, but I just can't fall asleep. Why? ='(
Maybe there are a lot of things inside my mind.
My brain still turning and thinking what to do.
But solution still progressing. I'm waiting for it.
Anyway, I won't force myself to solve the problem now.
But just, yea.. time will tell.
I believe it.
I lied today.
I know I really care about it, but I said no.
But, everyone knows it except you.
How sad.
I feel bad.
Actually I don't want things to become worse.
But I just keep on making it become worse and worse.
Sorry for it,
I still can't put down everything.
The door is close, the door right inside my heart.
I become cooler and cooler.
I smile when I not really smiling.
I laugh when I actually want to cry.
I keep quiet when I think about something.
I frown when I know there's no way to tell you what I actually thinking.
I cry when I know how useless I am.
I tired right after that.
I act strong after that.
Yea, that's me.
I leak of confidence now, more and more.
I can't stand for another bleeding scar anymore.
I afraid of everything now, anything that can hurts me easily.
I afraid of truth, afraid of love, afraid of lies.
I don't know what to trust, who to trust.
In conclusion, I'm totally lost, lost in my mind.
I changed, a lot.
I know it clearly.
I won't show any anger to my friends, but now I will.
I won't emo in front of my friends, but now I will.
I won't be silence when my friends are talking to me, but now I will.
What happened to me?
I don't know.
I don't want all those changes happen also.
I want to back to the past.
The time we can talk and play happily to each other, no quarrel, no tears.
You give me a warm smile whenever you see me.
You take care of me whenever I need it.
You nagging me again because of my laziness.
Telling me not to be so less confidence of myself.
Walk besides me everyday.
Say goodbye to me right after school.
I find excuses to go out and you walk home with me.
I smiling because I ask you not to follow me until my home only walk back but yet you still do it.
I smiling when I walk by your house and heard you playing piano.
Making fun of me and I pretend to be angry, begging me to forgive you.
Sent me message and chat everyday with endless topic.
I smile when your name appears on my phone screen.
Owe you an ice-cream because I forgot to say BRB.
You buy me lollipop and I do the same next day.

I really really miss all of that.
I'm waiting your name to appear on my phone screen again.
But I know it ain't going to happen now.
Always waiting for me when I walk slow.
But between me and you have a huge gap now.
Always remind you to drink water.
But I can't do it anymore.

I think I should stop recalling those memories.
All of these should lock inside a locker which deep inside my heart.

P.S: Jealousy can really cause a fire. And I'm in the situation now.