Let It Burn.

I recently close with boys more than girls.
I found out a stupid way.
Get close to guys.
They treat me good as a buddy.
They told me their secrets.
I help them with some advices.
Sometimes they listen to my complain.
Sometimes they cheer me up.
And hopefully one day the feeling towards you will at least fades abit.
There's always a limit in my heart.
I know no matter how close I am with them.
They are still only friends to me.
Nothing else.
I just want to get rid of it.
I don't wanna lost my soul once again.
Fall for once is enough.
Much more enough for me now.
I can't stand for another.
I may look like a playgirl now.
A bad girl.
But who cares.
I'm not flirting anyone also.
I just need friends.
Because I already lost a best friend that can share my secrets, my feelings.
That was you.
I actually feel sad for our friendship.
We used to cheer each other up.
Even though that time we were still friends.
Without words,
But automatically I know what's on your mind, and you too.
But friend turns to couple,
It's totally different case.
Because the friend turns to the one you like, you love.
You want the one to be only yours.
No sharing with others.
But I know myself.
I used to over protect myself.
I hate the feeling of getting hurt.
I don't like the feeling when I give out my heart,
And ended up there's nothing back to me.
Although I know it will not 100% possible happens to me.
But still,
I did it,
I don't show my feelings.
Right now I can clearly know what's on my mind.
But I won't ever force it to turns true in my life already.
I know it's useless to force.
Maybe it's not mine.
Maybe I don't deserve it.

P.S: I am who I am.
       But since when you become a part of my life?