U and I

I feel like I'm doing something really stupid.
I can't figure out what's the meaning behind the thing I did.
I'm just throwing a stone on my foots.
SPLIT.
I do know what's the meaning.
Everything should be end. No more chance. No more dream.
That's the ending I made, I think.
But what for I still standing at the same position?
I saw you, I feel happy, and also sad.
Happy that you still around me.
Sad that you are not being with me anymore.
Do you know that?
I search for you everyday.
I felt like crying when I don't know anything about you,
and yet I have to know from others.
My tears just can't stop now.
It's long time since I cry so hard.
I really can't control myself now.
These few months, I feel like dying.
Everyday doing the same thing again and again.
I tell myself.
I can move on. I can move on.
But I still not moving even though just one little step.
I don't wanna to move on.
How can the gap bewteen you and me become so far now?
I smiling and click your name.
I brave enough to enter.
But I end up tearing in the middle of the dark night.
I fall so deep.
All I can see is darkness.
Why?
I don't wanna memories.
It's just killing me once and once again.
I don't want anything now.
Please just take all away from my life.
P.S: I do still have the feeling towards you.I don'want the situation we facing now. I don't wan't to force myself again. I don't want. I'm so tired.

Black & White

30 seconds,

During the 30 seconds, a lot of things can happen.

Maybe miracle happens, thing goes on and it surprises you.

Maybe sadness occurs, you will never ever want to keep it in you mind.

Or maybe nothing will happen, just remain the same.

But during the 30 seconds, I can feel my heartbeat, I'm still alive.

It makes my day. Even though I still having exam.

Can't imagine that I smiling when I walked back to my class.

Being a human, I'm lost.

I don't really know what I want, what I need.

Someone told me, give me advices, but I ignore it.

Maybe I'm afraid, or maybe I don't want to step out of my own world.

A black and white world, fulfill with memories, negative and pointless.

Seeing others, their world are full of colour and wonderful.

How about mine?

I think it still waiting someone to fill in the colour.

I don't really understand what's the point of smiling now.

I smile when everyone laugh,

I expressionless when they smile.

HaHa, what's goes wrong now?

I do smile a lot at school, when I be with my friends.

But when i come home, smile leave me.

I don't know what to do.

So, I keep on finding something to attract me.

At least I won't be so lifeless.

I need a strength to lift me up.

Anyway, I'm not negative-minded. =)

P.S: Cheong Pei Ling, Ms awesome! Get well soon! My darling.. hahahha.. I do still wanna hang out with you!!! =)

EXAM! XD

Having some suffer time during exam.
Although I don't have the mood to study for it,
But still need to flip the book for awhile, let some words and formulas absorb in my brain.
When I got the paper, my mind totally blank out.
SO! It's time to simply circle answers and write out acceptable answers.
I can't imagine the time when I know my results, most probably will heart attack. =P
No more good results I think. =(
Good student is hard to be. =) So, I choose to be a lazy student.
Been distracted by the computer, so I can't even concentrate to study for exam.
But! LIKE I CARE.
I just hope the exam end as soon as possible.
So i able to play and have fun during holidays with my dearest friends.
So many plan to go.
Many place, trip, even gathering also. =D
I can't wait for it now!
Let's forget about the results and have fun!
=DDDDD
P.S: Still got 2 more days to go. Chinese paper was hard like shit! The teacher become a liar again. She said it is easy. ><

Don't cry

LOVE seems to change so easily,
In place of our own greed, a painful scar is left,
Gotta let you go
And please don’t cry
I guess I was not really the person for you
I couldn’t hold back my stupid heart
Which pained you
And please don’t cry
Here is the end for the both of us,
And until the world would allow our love then,
It’s okay baby please don’t cry,
This long journey is about to end.
But someday, we will meet again,
In the next life, we will see each other again
Everyday, we are blinded by our anger,
What we were fighting about every minute,
I cried every night,
Baby I cried
All the long nights
I stayed up late crying,
I spent them all alone
Baby I cried
Here is the end for the both of us,
And until the world would allow our love then,
It’s okay baby please don’t cry,
This long journey is about to end.
But someday, we will meet again,
In the next life, we will see each other again
Sometimes, when tears come to me,
I remember our beautiful memories
I hope that you won’t be hurt more,
And please don’t cry
It’s okay baby please don’t cry,
This long journey is about to end.
But someday, we will meet again,
In the next life, we will see each other again

P.S: another beautiful melody. =) The lyrics are so real. 

What goes wrong?

Why human can change their personality so much just after a couple of time?
Jane who used to smile and laugh everyday, now just left a expressionless face.
No one seems to know what Jane thinking about now.
Even though her close friends.
I can't figure out whether Jane changed, or her friends changed.
They were a group of girls who share secrets to each other and tell all the feeling towards them.
They didn't quarrel before. For the past 4 years.
But then, when a lots of things happened at the same times,
It has the power to changed a person.
Study, Family, Love, and Result just keep on stressing Jane.
She wants to get freedom so badly form this cruel world.
Jane was a hardworking girl, and has leadership.
She was the one who make decision for her friends when they face problems.
Maybe Jane was too perfect in her friend's eyes, so soon her friends will think nothing will let Jane down.
But, it was just too wrong.
When Jane needed help from her friends, she rarely speak out to them.
Of course, her friends won't realize it.
Jane soon become tired, she need to do many many things by herself.
Jane slowly close her heart to her friends, don't tell her friends about anything.
Jane did a lot of weird things to her friends. Things like to a stranger or enemy.
Her friends can't get what she trying to tell them and misunderstand happened.
Now they can't talk happily to each other. Everyone seems like has their own secret in their heart.
Friend A don't trust Friend B anymore. Friend B think Friend A just leaving her further and further.
And slowly, this group gonna break to pieces.
Jane's friends try to talk to her, but she just left with no reply and answer.
Her friends really do hope the best friend relationship between Jane and them will be there forever and ever.
Don't because of own feelings and started leaving each other.
This will just become a joke to THEM. The evil groups.
Jane's friend don't wanna them be like THEM, who act like a best friend to another, but talk about the bad thing behind of the friend.
PLEASE! Don't be like that. =(

Time passed and won't be back.

Time passed faster than you can expect.

It just goes though and you can't even beg time to stop for you.

When happy moment, you hope the time can just stop.

But when sad moment, you just want the time pass as fast as it can.

But time won't give even a shit to you.

Talk about the past three years of school life and special things happened in my life with Ming.

Actually I feel like crying when I talking with Ming.

I controlled it, by playing my phone, just to distract my mind.

Ming, doesn't realize that right? =)

Still talk about you like it was yesterday.

From happy to sad, then happy again.

I realized that there were a lot of things happened between us.

But most of them can make me smile easily.

Just some small action, some words, some chat.

HAHAHA.. I think i going insane soon.

We are so close yet so far.

I don't really know what you actually thinking.

I thought I used to be the one who know you very well.

But not.

It just makes me sad.

No talk for 5 months. I donno how I did it.

I really wanna talk to you so damn badly.

Even though just some very formal topic.

P.S: I just want to hug you and say I love you. <3

Will you?

There were alot of chances to say hi to you today.
But I lost all the chances. I wanna kill myself so badly.

Haizz.. Bad mood.

What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?

I have no idea with it, I lost myself in a different world, waiting someone to help me.
But I don't deserve it.

My heart feel like aching when I answer NO to the question they ask when you came in my class.
I can't even catch up the teacher during my favorite Addmath class.
What The Hell. ><
I saw it. You stopped for awhile and decided to change another way to walk back to your place.
I don't know what feeling should I have on that time.
Smile? or being emo again.

I don't wanna be like that. I hate that kind of me.

Totally dislike.
What will you do if I asking for a chance again?
Feel annoy?
Hell yea, basketball is the best way to blank my mind.
But, you're in the court also.
I seriously feel like want to go and bang the wall now.
If you read this, will you give me an answer?
Although you already given me last time.
The heartbreaking-answer.